Bullet in the Brain

I think Anders definitely has a fear of intimacy. It shows in his disrespect for women, both in the present time and in his memories. When he gets stuck behind the two women at the bank he describes them in very negative terms: “loud, stupid” and “crybaby” (263). I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the teller Anders conceives a “towering hatred” for is a woman. Even his description of the Zeus and Europa images is laced with contempt for the female gender, as if to fall for her suggestive hips, “long, droopy eyelashes,” and “sultry welcome” is to degrade oneself to the status of a farm animal (265).

The medley of memories we’re given mirror the same fear of intimacy. We’re introduced to Sherry, “his first lover”, and later his wife. I find it interesting that we know Sherry’s name but not the wife’s name. The woman involved in the more intimate of the two relationships remains nameless, as if Anders were trying to remove himself farther from the memory of the relationship. He separates himself from all three women (Sherry, his wife and his daughter) with negative terms: “[she] came to irritate him,” “she exhausted him with her predictability,” “a sullen professor” (266). It seems that he has entered into each relationship as something to occupy his time. He doesn’t see a woman as an individual with feelings but rather as entertainment, and when she ceases to thrill him, he wishes to be rid of her.

Anders gives us some insight into why he has this fear of intimacy when the memory of his mother flashes through his mind. She says, “I should have stabbed him in his sleep,” referring to Anders’ father (267). This memory shows that his parents didn’t have a very intimate, loving relationship and perhaps this is where his unconscious fear of intimacy blossomed. Perhaps, in Anders’ mind, becoming close to a woman would only cause pain and heartache (or lead to a brutal homicide). So instead, avoid real intimacy and use the women as you’d like until you’re bored of them.