I think Marie does not like what she sees when she takes a look at herself. In this short story the reader has seen her slice a man’s hand and slap a woman’s cheek. She attempts to apologize to Vernelle for slapping her and genuinely seems sorry for what she has done, but she never gets the guts to actually apologize. She never cleaned the blood off the knife after cutting the man’s hand, but allowed it to dry and flake off by itself. It’s almost like she was going to let the memory of cutting the man’s hand let itself disappear without any act on her part. She didn’t do anything to provide a sort of closure for her violent action. She even told herself that she should clean that knife, but she never did. Like when she told herself to apologize to Vernelle, but never did. Was she even sorry for slicing the man's hand like she was for slapping Vernelle?
Two weeks after she slapped Vernelle, Marie thought of the “phrase she had not used or heard since her children were small: You whatn’t raised that way.” She chastises herself for this blunder she has made. She is disappointed in herself and her actions. And right after the act, she locked herself away from the rest of the world by using both chains to lock herself in her apartment. She knows what she did wrong, but never fixes it.
When Marie first listens to what George has recorded of her history, she stops him because the sound of her own voice stuns her and turns her world upside down for a few moments. The shock of listening to her own voice gave her a glimpse of herself that may have been unpleasant. After turning the tape over and over, it’s like she almost wants to be able to somehow change herself or change her view of herself when she “lightly touched the buttons of the machine.” She has no idea how to work the machine in the same way that she doesn’t know what to do with herself or the view she has just gotten of herself. At the conclusion of the story, she tucks away the tapes into the deepest corner of her drawer knowing she would never listen to the tapes again. Even though they are full of her own history and stories of her life, “she could not stand the sound of her own voice” or the distasteful view she got of herself when she listened to them.
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I don't know how much I agree that she simply dislikes what she sees. I personally think that there are many signs in the text that she is rather depressed. Besides being alone with no husband or children living with her, she tends to isolate herself. Things like slicing a man's hand... well he deserved it. It was self defense. She's old and pretty much defenseless so she carries the knife.
ReplyDeleteI actually really like Marie. I think she has a fire inside and I might have slapped Vernelle too, if I'd been in her place. Besides being old and alone, she's a woman. Throughout the text it seems that Marie gets passed by and that nobody really cares about her. These are all themes that speak to everyone. We have all felt alone, defenseless, angry, etc. sometime in our lives. I see this as just a tale of daily life to some degree.
Going on with the idea that Marie is depressed, I think hearing her voice on the tape clues her in to her own depression that had maybe gone unnoticed. She doesn't want to hear her own voice, and I'd say it is because she hears that depression in it. She hears her voice and can visualize her entire past .... which it seems she is not too proud of.
Well, that's what I think. But you definitely painted a good picture for your reasoning, as well.
I agree with both of your comments about Marie and why she seems to be having such a hard time with life. I agree with Michelle's thinking that Marie doesn't like what she sees when she looks at herself. She has been held back and constantly faught when she tried to have a happy fulfilling life. She isn't happy with the person society has turned her in to.
ReplyDeleteThis leads to my agreeing with Laceys comments. I think almost anyone would become depressed and sad if we had to go through the things that Marie has went through. I think I would've wanted to slap Vernelle's face too if she treated me like that.
All these negative experiences in her life have left a sour taste in her mouth. She isn't happy with the way things have worked out and this has made Marie resent her own life. The tapes bring back memories of a more positive time when she could still find the true happeiness she is longing for. She doesn't want to relive those memories bacause they are gone now. That is why she doesn't want to even listen to the sound of her own voice.
So I guess in a way I agree with both of you and can see many of the same points that I thought of.
I agree with Landon's take on the tapes. Marie as she is listening to these tapes seems to remember what her life usede to be. it used to be full of happiness, but now her life is sad. I also agree with Michelle that Marie doesn't like the person she hears on the tape (obviously her own voice) because it is something that she can never attain again. She will never be that person who is speaking on the tape. I think she has held a lot of her feelings in which many people who are depressed do so, and that is why she reacted in the way she did toward the young man who's hand she cut and Vernelle when she reached across the counter and slapped her face. I think these point to signs of depression.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that Landon agrees with both - I was beginning to feel a little guilty for wanting to ride the fence on this one.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand where Michelle is coming from with her metaphor of the bloody knife and would like to add that I think that not only is it a parallel of her attitude, but also the way her life seems to be passing by - time is just flaking away in these meaningless moments.
Which leads in to what Lacey said about Marie being depressed! She reviews the tapes of herself speaking and in the old stories, finally realizes what her life has amounted to - an old, helpless woman who is constantly in fear of becoming senile, of being helpless, of being alone. It doesn't help at all when she sits with her friend's boyfriend as he passes away, and finds that she was the last thing he knew in this life, while all she knew of him was the town in Kansas that he loved and once had a wife, there.
Like Michelle said, "she has no idea how to work the machine in the same way that she doesn’t know what to do with herself or the view she has just gotten of herself." I feel like Marie's afraid of dying an elderly woman who, after some-odd-years of living, still doesn't know who she is, in a world that is constantly changing. Can you honestly blame the poor woman for being depressed?